I just remembered a very disturbing episode from our otherwise-splendid New Year’s Eve celebration.
At 11 we tuned in to the New Year’s Rockin’ Eve celebration just in time to see the fancy ball drop for NYC’s new year. I was surprised to see Dick Clark sitting behind his usual table somewhere over the crowds in Time Square. I was even more surprised to hear the garbled, slurred speech coming from Dick’s mouth as he tried to count down the seconds to the big event. Dick Clark had a stroke? I hadn’t heard. It’s sad news, but it was great to see him back at work.
What wasn’t so great was when the camera panned around to Dick making out with…God help me, is that Diane Sawyer? Dick’s wife? Some anonymous blond pulled off the street? Whoever it was, she received a face sucking the likes of which I had not seen since watching C.H.U.D. on Cinemax over at Janina Fouts’ house in 1984. I don’t know if it was the bracing midnight air of Times Square, the romance of New York City at night, or the free booze, but something got into Dick. It’s safe to say we were all taken aback just a bit by Dick’s fumbling, widemouthed, vomit-inducing PDA, even though it only lasted a couple seconds before the good soul in the control room cut to confetti showering down on the hoi polloi. At least I know one guy who had a New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.