{"id":1260,"date":"2008-05-19T10:26:33","date_gmt":"2008-05-19T15:26:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/wordpress\/?p=1260"},"modified":"2008-05-19T10:26:33","modified_gmt":"2008-05-19T15:26:33","slug":"im-a-stickler-read-arsehole","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/2008\/05\/19\/im-a-stickler-read-arsehole\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m a stickler (read: arsehole)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Leah and I tried a new restaurant<\/a> on the advice of a friend this past Saturday evening (coincidentally, we ran into said friend when we arrived at the restaurant).
\n
\nThe food was fine. I only had two minor quibbles. First, onion “strings.” Whose idea was this? And why mess with the classic onion ring<\/strong><\/em>, which is in a dead heat with the French fried potato for world’s most perfect appetizer? Onion strings are just a damn mess. They’re difficult to eat whether you’re using your fingers or a fork, and you end up feeling like you’ve eaten a lot more breading than onion when you’re done, which, whether it’s actually the case, is a bad lasting impression to have. I like onion rings. I like their simplicity. I like that you can grab one from a plate and take a bite out of it without thinking too much about it. But onion strings<\/em>? Feh.<\/p>\n

Second: Do not<\/em> offer a gin martini (and not just offer, but advertise <\/em>it on your drink menu) without having cocktail onions behind the bar. Who has a full restaurant bar and has no cocktail onions? It drives me crazy. And for Christ’s sake, don’t offer a bleu-cheese-stuffed olive as a substitute for a cocktail onion! That’s like serving a rum and coke with a fat ol’ dill spear. Nothing establishes my faith in a restaurant bar more readily than ordering a gin martini and having it come to the table adorned with at least one cocktail onion.<\/p>\n

Wait, I guess there was a third thing. The bun on my burger, while fresh, had a peculiar property whereby it absorbed all the moisture in my mouth as I ate. Combine that with a burger that was slightly overdone (well, past medium rare, at least), and I felt like a garter snake trying to swallow a squirrel. I managed to get it all down, but there was some effort involved. A big shout out to my bottle of PBR (bottles of PBR go a long way towards making up for the cocktail onion thing) for providing some much-needed lubrication; is there any problem PBR can’t<\/em> solve?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Leah and I tried a new restaurant on the advice of a friend this past Saturday evening (coincidentally, we ran into said friend when we arrived at the restaurant).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food-drink"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9oLlO-kk","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1260"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1260\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}