{"id":1157,"date":"2008-01-17T13:45:41","date_gmt":"2008-01-17T18:45:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/wordpress\/?p=1157"},"modified":"2008-01-17T14:03:36","modified_gmt":"2008-01-17T19:03:36","slug":"2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/2008\/01\/17\/2\/","title":{"rendered":"2%"},"content":{"rendered":"

That number represents our chances of getting pregnant each month, according to the doctor we saw this morning (when we conceived Ava, our odds were more like 18% to 20%). If we undertake IUI<\/a>, that goes up another 2%. If we do IUI with a drug like clomid or letrozol, we get another 2%. So we’re looking at 6%, solely because we’re old. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. But like all bitter pills, the taste fades, particularly in the bright light of a fond memory.<\/p>\n

We were all hustling to get ready this morning so we could drop off Ava and still make it to our appointment at the infertility clinic at 8. I fed Ava and got her dressed while Leah showered and did her hair, then I sent her upstairs to get her teeth brushed. After I cleared the breakfast dishes, I went up to see how things were coming along. Ava was just finishing up. I ambushed her as she was coming out of the bathroom and knelt to give her a big hug. She was so warm and cuddly in her brown sweater, and she gave me an earnest squeeze. When we parted, I looked at her. In the instant before she ran off down the hallway, I caught a look on Ava’s face that I couldn’t interpret. There was a smile, and her eyes almost spoke to me, “You’re my daddy. I’m happy. I’m content.” And then she was gone.<\/p>\n

I’m projecting, of course. Ava was more likely simply excited about getting downstairs or finding a favorite book or just running down the hall. My love for this little girl is such a silly, capricious love. It’s fanciful. It’s a glass of champagne caught in flickering candlelight, all golden and bubbly and delicately fizzy. When she hugs me like this — for these couple seconds — there is nothing incomplete in the world. Everything is total. Whole. One hundred percent. It’s a difficult sensation to describe. It’s not that time stops, more that it extends out to infinity in every direction for just a little bit, and in every direction there’s only this crazy, exhilarating emotion flowing from this little girl in the brown sweater. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

That number represents our chances of getting pregnant each month, according to the doctor we saw this morning (when we conceived Ava, our odds were more like 18% to 20%). If we undertake IUI, that goes up another 2%. If we do IUI with a drug like clomid or letrozol, we get another 2%. So […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ava","category-tmi"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s9oLlO-2","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1157"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1157\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nicheplayer.net\/avablog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}