Recently Ava uttered her first words of ill will towards her unborn sibling. “Here we go,” I thought. I’d been expecting this, if only because it makes sense to me that a young child with direct and uninterrupted access to her parents’ time and love might well find the introduction of a competitor for those goodies as a bad thing. Encountering the sentiment suddenly and in the midst of an unrelated tantrum, I was surprised it had taken so long to arrive.
But there it was. Ava recovered from the tantrum, and all was again right with the world. Or mostly right. Ava’s been acting out a lot lately. We don’t know if it’s because the baby’s coming or if it’s simply a more generalized phase, but it’s frustrating. She gives us lots and lots of opportunities to be good parents, and I don’t always avail myself of them. Our confounding, sensitive, strong-willed child has taken lately to bolting out the front door during her fits to “run away” up the street (always east, for some reason). Sometimes without shoes or socks. Sometimes without pants. But always with the idea that she’s been wronged or that whatever Leah and I have done “isn’t fair.” Ah, fairness. It sounds great at first, but fairness has a real dark side when it requires you to give up something you want. I don’t feel like I can fault Ava for grappling with fairness; hell, I know plenty of adults who still don’t get it. It’s probably too much to ask of her. For now, she’s back to eagerly anticipating the arrival of her sibling. So we’ll try to take things as they come.
