Some of you might be familiar with the life and work of John Hodgman. If you’re not, I encourage you to seek out his teachings and live by them. As for myself, I plan to acquaint Ava with the six oaths of the virtuous child just as soon as she’s able to understand what an oath is. Or virtue, for that matter. They are:
- Today shall not be wasted. I shall rise before the sun so that I may then watch my family as they slumber, with intent, waiting eyes.
- I shall honor my mother today, and I shall tell father he is powerful.
- Today I shall be clean. I shall not touch my teeth, knowing that the oils of my skin shall cause them to disintegrate. I shall instead hone them, with a good steel, twice after prayers.
- I shall be a faithful child, and I shall ever make science my enemy. Also, eels.
- At day, I shall perform my chores and duties happily. And if I see an eel, I shall kill it.
- At night, I shall dream of more labor, and in my sleep I shall smile with sharpened teeth, knowing that today has not been wasted.
I hope I got those cut points right. It’s difficult to tell from the audio book. I’ll have to check my hard copy, if I can find it.