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Frump

August 18th, 2006 · by map · No Comments

Sometimes I feel like I’m surrounded by style addicts. I live with a woman who, along with her sister, wears (knockoff) designer sunglasses on a pontoon boat in the boundary waters. It’s like vacationing with the Hilton sisters.

For the most part (OK, heck, for the whole part), I’m entirely oblivious to fashion and style. I enjoy looking at people who’re dressed to the nines, and once in a while I’ll even dust off my own fancy threads for a night out with the little lady. But as I write this I’m wearing a pair of shoes I’ve had for…hmm…at least four years now, and which I keep at the office and only wear at work. And let’s not even talk about my pants.

I don’t believe that a person can or should be judged by what they wear, Big Dogs t-shirts notwithstanding. As much as the next person, I love to have a good chortle at the fashion victims you see on the street, but I don’t typically hold their couture faux pas against them.

One time I do think fashion, or at least dress, matters is when it’s being used to sell something, or at least to represent it. For example:

frump

This image appears on the front page of a Web site for a major Midwestern university that shall remain nameless. It’s the centerpiece of the page. Every time I see it lately, it bothers me. I can understand how the thinking at the Webmaster’s desk went: “Underrepresented student? Check. Cute girl? Check. Wannabe frat boy with bad Ceasar cut? Check. Forgotten, used-once bicycles in the background? Check. Plenty of trees and the dappled sunshine their leaves produce? Check. Backpacks? Check.” There’s not much to dislike about the image unless you hate ethnic minorities, cute girls, frat boys, bikes, shade and/or bookbags, which makes it a pretty safe picture.

But it lacks panache. Dash. Verve. If I’m a prospective student, I’m looking at this and feeling utterly bored. And I can’t help thinking that’s partly because the students pictured look like they’ve all swapped clothes with each other before the shot was taken. The kid on the left appears to have survived a total waist removal procedure, which is great for him and the company who makes his belts, but bad for us. The girl could’ve worn just about anything else with those mustard yellow cargo pants and made it work, but the mauve oxford and flip flops make her appear a mess. The dude on the right…well…I suppose he looks as much like the typical college student as any of them, but he sure isn’t very inspiring.

The same thing’s going on over at the college of business site:

more frump

Note the same photographic elements: Chicks (Yes! We have chicks at this school!), bikes, trees, backpacks (no minorities, of course; it is the college of business, after all).

The difference in this shot is that the clothing the students are wearing doesn’t seem as front and center. Because they’re walking away from us, they become more like the shrubs and benches and light posts, just props. And thanks to the overburdended backpacks, you can’t even make out much of what they’re wearing.

“Mark,” you say, “I understand what you’re saying. But what’s the answer? Web sites without photos?” Sure! Why not? The school at hand does have a pretty campus, and it’s sensible that they’d want to promote a friendly, low-stress, sunny image to the world. And you can’t very well leave the students out of the shots completely, which would give off a very, very weird zombie movie vibe. In lieu, though, might I suggest the San Diego State University route:

SDSU

This is the image from their site’s front page today. OK, sure, so it’s a bit contrived. First off, everyone knows there are no women in science (which sneakily takes care of the picture’s minority requirement). Secondly, every woman knows that you don’t wear your hair down at the lab, particularly near the centrifuge. But if you can get past that, this picture positively screams academe. I mean, she’s even taking notes! And the waist-up shot with the white lab coat leaves little room for what might otherwise be her distracting attire. You know this woman’s really a lab rat, too, because she almost surely would’ve updated her hairstyle had she been allowed to leave the bench since 1976.

Anyway, just a pet peeve. Funny how these things get out of hand….

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