I really dislike shopping for cosmetics. When Leah adds an item of makeup to my shopping list, it’s pretty much assured that I’m going to screw it up somehow. When I go shopping, I’m used to buying items with simple, typically one- or two-word identifiers: “Soap;” “Bread;” “Extension Cord;” “Lightbulb.” So when I see a detailed description of some fancy eyeliner or mascara or shampoo, my eyes begin to glaze over.
My latest blunder involved a tube of Maybelline Extra Black “Thick & Healthy” mascara. I got everything right but the “waterproof” part, so the tube is just sitting at home, still in its packaging. In my defense, the tube I bought was hanging with about 40 other tubes that looked exactly the same save for a couple words differentiating one product from another. And those words were in smaller type. I swear.
I was looking at this sad, neglected package of mascara when I was at home today at noon. There’s an asterisk after the “Thick & Healthy” part of the name. I looked around for the note and found it at the bottom of the cardboard backing: “* Healthy-looking” That’s so like makeup.