I have a general sense that Ava’s getting used to having Emmett around. A small poster, created by her, appeared on her easel the other day that reads “I LOVE EMMETT.” She’s also having an easier time going places without us, such as school, which makes things easier.
Meanwhile, I continue to feel her childhood slipping past me. And, by extension, her slipping past me. Maybe it’s just that G.G. has been in town the last couple days, and I’ve tried to give her some alone time with the girl. Maybe I should resign myself to the fact that absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Yesterday, I got home on my bike just before a strong storm rolled into town. I had Ava come outside with me, and we stood on the sidewalk across the street to watch the weather approach. She wrapped her arms around my leg as I pointed out the roiling gray and white clouds tumbling towards us. When the wind finally hit, Ava let me go and danced among the dust and leaves skittering by on the pavement, her hair tousled as she jumped and twirled.
I cherish these moments alone with her; I know she’s using them to form her impression of the person her dad is, and I try to make them seem important beyond the fun that they are. But she doesn’t understand the kind of importance I’m trying to convey. At least not intellectually. And I suppose it’s probably best she doesn’t, yet. Plenty of time later for the preoccupations and worries of the adult world. It’s enough for now that she loves dancing on the sidewalk with the storm-blown wind in her hair.
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1 NathanPralle // Jun 24, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I suspect, in a round-about, time-release fashion, you are building up within her all the elements needed for her to look back later in life and construct the meaning that weaves all the parts together, intertwining not only her own life experiences, but all of those woven in with yours and Leahs.
In essence, I think we are giving our kids all the mental health and emotional reinforcements they will need later, now; the innocence of youth simply packages them up in some tissue paper in a corner of the closet until needed.
2 Lauren // Jun 26, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Did you hear Obama on father's day talk about growing up with out a dad? My husband had a similar experience and felt a huge loss growing up – and still does. The fact that Ava {and my kids} never has to know what it is like not to have a dad who is always there for her with love and support is such a huge gift.
I love what Nathan wrote above too.
3 Lauren // Jun 27, 2009 at 5:14 am
Did you hear Obama on father's day talk about growing up with out a dad? My husband had a similar experience and felt a huge loss growing up – and still does. The fact that Ava {and my kids} never has to know what it is like not to have a dad who is always there for her with love and support is such a huge gift.
I love what Nathan wrote above too.
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