This morning my mom stopped by the house for a couple minutes as we were getting ready to go out the door. Ava and Leah made Valentines the other day to hand out to the kids at daycare, and there was a special one for my mom. I was standing in the kitchen as I watched Ava hand her grandma the gift (with some coaxing from Leah).
It was an amazing moment. You know those scenes in the movies where something happens to a character, and whatever it is that’s happened triggers a big flashback? Well, this was like one of those scenes. When I saw how happy Ava was when she looked at her grandmother’s smile, it made me think of the day Leah and I told my mom that we were going to have a baby.
That’s a weird moment. Of course, prospective grandparents tend to be pretty excited when they get the news. Still, amidst all the excitement and happiness and heady emotion, there’s a real undercurrent of trepidation. Will our baby be OK? Will she be smart and strong and caring and funny? Will she be gentle with dogs? Will she love to read? Will she eat vegetables? Will she cry all night? Will she need glasses? Will we be able to take care of her? Is the delivery going to hurt?
I don’t find myself asking so many of those questions anymore, partly because Ava is OK. She’s smart and strong and caring and funny. She loves dogs and pets them very gently when we ask her to use “soft touches.” The first thing she asks for in the morning is, “book, book?” Her fondness for broccoli is inspiring. She never did cry all night, but she came close a couple times. Her vision seems to be quite good; she often sees tiny little things long before either Leah or I do. So far, we’ve been able to take good care of her. We won’t talk about the delivery….
But most of all, I don’t find myself asking these questions anymore because the answers just don’t matter. Time spent with Ava becomes nothing but a series of precious, glorious nows. No future to fret over. No past to lament. When I hold her in my arms and see her smile and hear that incredible laugh, it’s just the two of us there in that moment and nothing else. When we first told our family and friends about Ava’s impending arrival, there was no way we could have ever anticipated she’d bring so much love with her into the world.
So here’s to pleasant surprises. And love, in all its forms. Most of all, here’s to Ava, without whom none of this would be possible.